Ah-ha! The Pentagon actually has a set of criteria for coming up with silly names for military operations. For the current ‘Operation Odyssey Dawn’ (Which some have observed sounds like a pole dancer from an Atlanta strip club), the criteria are that the first word must begin with the letter ‘O’. I presume they label these things alphabetically much like the NOAA labels Hurricanes. The second word can begin with the letters ‘A’ through ‘F’. I am unclear on the logic behind this one.
In addition, there are several restrictions. Here is a list from the Office of Naval Operations courtesy of The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell‘s website:
Who actually chooses the words and their motivation remains a mystery. I suspect they may have flunked creative writing in college. This Wired article says that the names are somewhat random and these guidelines exist because of some bad press due to previously inappropriate operation names from prior conflicts in Korea and Vietnam. Now we know.
(By the way, you can post your own alternate suggestions for the operation at http://www.thelastword.msnbc.com)
Related Articles
- What’s in a Name? ‘Odyssey Dawn’ is Pentagon-Crafted Nonsense (wired.com)
- The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell (MSNBC)
Well, this is just silly.
It reminds me of a game I once played at a party where you take the name of your first pet, and put it together with the name of the first street, neighborhood or small town you lived in as a child, and the result would be your stage name if you became a porn star (or, in Mr U.’s case, a Chippendale… 😉
Yep, my porn star name is Momma Kitty Houston. Works, eh?
Danny Rock Island?
Lady Aurora?
I don’t know if either of those works for me…
“Momma Kitty Houston.”
It has a really blowsy, seedy, louche kind of vibe.
I like it 🙂
Murphy Mackinaw?
I may need to steal Mr. Universe’s porn name…
OOO… I like “Danny Rock Island!”
Can’t you just see the bulging pecs, the 6-pack abs, the shaggy blond hair and worn blue jeans… (excuse me while I put a damp cloth on my forehead…)
I would be Miggy Riverside, which is frisky but with a certain sophistication, a je ne sais quoi…
Jonah Goldberg thinks Odyssey Dawn is a perfect name because an “odyssey” is a long, difficult, impossible task that keeps one hopelessly mired down for an entire lifetime.
I’ll bulge my biceps for you, filistro! Pardon me while I brush my blond Bieber-bangs back from my forehead….
LOL! OK, I’ll quit… You’re absolutely right that the military operation names are just as silly as fake porn names!
Ginger Flicker.
Damn.
A “Ginger Flicker” sounds like an extremely rare songbird indigenous to certain areas of Minnesota.
Or somebody who would flip the bird to Newt Gingrich….
LOL, dcpetterson!
I can see the taglines now for “Odyssey Dawn” starring Miggy Riverside, Ginger Flicker, and Momma Kitty Houston!
Danny Rock Island sounds like a gay porn star name
Laddie FM1788. Very postmodern and techno-sounding, like a porn robot.
Max Oakwood. I like it.
Rigorously applying these rules, I have a few suggestions for the Pentagon:
Obelisk Force sounds manly and phallic, and is in keeping with the shape of Tomahawk missiles
Obituary Day would be appropriate though I … what? Too dark? Well, then I also really like:
Oatmeal Cookie which has a comforting wholesome vibe and is “in keeping with American ideals”… but I suppose “oatmeal” is in violation of the rule about compound words.
You know, this naming of wars is hard work.
Operation Oatmeal Cookie is my favorite. Sounds delicious!
Here’s a few candidates:
Open Door
One Day
Offal Dish (sounds awful, doesn’t it?)
Oppressive Bush
Orange Agent
Oinking Cat
Ostentatious Buffoon
Oiled Cog
This isn’t that hard after all. 🙂
A Ginger Flicker in the UK would be a redhead picking their nose.
Lawrence O’Donnell was going to show some of the best Operation names sent in by viewers, but I missed the whole segment (hockey and curling on TV tonight.)
Were there any good ones?
I still think the guys at The Corner have come up with the best names so far.
(“Operation Qadaffi DUCK!” is my favorite….)
Qadhafi Duck is funny! But it doesn’t follow the rules… Too bad Qadhafi’s name doesn’t have a variant spelling that begins with the letter O.
Often Fun
Ogle Chicks
Only Child
Omnibus Bill
Orangutan Bush
Ominous Feeling
Orange Apple
Ogre Ears
Once Again
Oppressor Finished
Ocean Deep
Ouster Fling
Open Book
Orbit Achieved
Opening Bid
One Club
Onus Denied
Original Concept
I’m sure others here can come up with something more creative, but those are just a few off the top of my head.
Damn, Mac, that’s a fine list. Got me laughing at more than a few of them.
Oh, and, of course, following the Opening Bid of One Club comes One Diamond.
@Michael
Is that an Over Call? or did my LHO pass? I probably should have asked what system we were using first, eh?
😉
Out FOXed
Odor Eater
Oprah’s Cousin
Operation Old Dictator?
Overthrowing Assholes
Outré Force
Organized Chaos
Ouzo Drinking
Offal Chewing
Omnipresent Domination
Old Fart
Story about the last one: in a previous job, my boss was a narcissistic blowhard. He was annoying me at a meeting with this and that, and it must’ve shown on my face, because he said, “I bet you think I’m a silly old fart.”
I replied, “I don’t think you’re old, sir.”
He was mad at me for days after, but he shouldn’t feed me the straight lines like that.
Does anybody have contact info for the Pentagon?
I want to nominate Mac and Monotreme as the new Committee in Charge of Nomenclature for Military Operations.
Organized Chaos…
I’d bet that’s pretty close to what the guys on the ground are calling it regardless of what the upper muckety-mucks say. Although, their word for “Chaos” is likely unprintable in a family publication…
Organ Donor
Occluded Front
Orderly Conduct
Jon Stewart was saying the name sounded like the name of a Yes album but I like the porn analogy better.
Here is mine: Tiger Terrace.
Here are my operation names: Oyster Boy, Odiferous Fish, Obama’s Folly, Ok Bomb, Outed Gay.
You guys are right, this is fun.
“Odiferous Fish” would be a great name for a rock group.
Though probably difficult to say when one is stoned… so maybe not.
@fili and @#7:
Odiferous Furuncle, then.
Unfortunately, Monotreme, one of the rules was that the words chosen can’t be “obscure,” and I’d bet that “Furuncle” isn’t well-known among the typical military and political elite.
Octagonal Bird
Occasional Friend
Opposites Attract
Opposites Attract is great but it gave me this idea:
Opposites Attack
I had to look up furuncle. That is just nasty, lol.
@#7.. I had to look up furuncle. That is just nasty, lol.
Me too. EEWWW.
I think “Opposites Attack” is probably our winner.
(I do still have a strong affection for “Odiferous Fish”… but it’s probably not that relevant to the situation. Though, come to think of it, no less relevant than “Odyssey Dawn”…)
@filistro
I thought Occluded Front was particularly apt, but it’s not immediately obvious. It’s a weather term for when a cold front overtakes a warm front and creates a cyclone that may spawn a huge mess of thunderstorms and tornadoes. The idea of two fronts battling it out and creating a natural-disaster seemed fitting for just about any military engagement…
@Mac… It’s a weather term for when a cold front overtakes a warm front and creates a cyclone that may spawn a huge mess of thunderstorms and tornadoes.
Apt, yes… but you’re just way too classy for the company in here.
For example, when I see “Occluded Front” I visualize a Hooters waitress wearing a semi-opaque tank top 😉