It’s the Budget My Ass

Paul Ryan (bottom left) discusses strategy with Scott Walker and other Repubs

Careful what you wish for. Republicans have made the budget problem their number one issue. In fact it’s their national emergency. They are using it to demand lots of spending cuts that would essentially hurt a lot of Americans. But sacrifices have to be made, right?

Okay then, balancing the budget is the top priority. Now all of a sudden congressional Democrats are finding ways to address the debt and the deficit. Not extending the Bush tax cuts, for instance. To which the Republicans gasp! “Wait, wait. You can’t do that. We need that money to create jobs. Yeah, that’s it (wink) create jobs.

Okay, well we’ve killed bin Laden, how about we get out of the war/police the world business and cut back defense spending; you know, butter not guns. Our military is almost as large as the rest of the militaries of the world combined. To which the Republicans wiping the sweat from their brows gasp! “Wait, wait. We can’t just pull out on all the contractors that are servicing the industry…er, military. We’ll be less safe. Yeah, that’s it. We’ll be less safe”.

Well, okay, so the oil companies are making the most profit ever in the history of the world. Seems to us that they don’t really need any incentives in the form of those subsidies we’ve been giving them. The oil companies said so themselves (cue video of Senator Ron Wyden asking this question a few years back and the oil companies saying they don’t need them). How about we put that towards the budget problem? To which the Republicans administering CPR to Mitch McConnell and others gasp! “WAIT! WAIT! No you can’t do that after we promised them…er…well they need those subsidies for exploration, transportation, and, and, research for alternative energy to make us less dependent on foreign oil! Yeah, that’s it, less dependent on foreign oil”.

So you mean if we grant further drilling leases and keep the subsidies in place then we can stop the wars in the middle east? To which the Republicans scratch their chins and say, “Well, we didn’t mean that, exactly”.

Well what exactly did you mean? These are perfectly logical means to address your budget concerns. In fact, it looks like it will give us a budget surplus by the end of the decade. What’s the problem?

Paul Ryan calls all the Republicans into a huddle and whispers, {{{“Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, after all. New plan, the new talking point is ‘the budget isn’t so bad’. Let them raise the debt ceiling. We’ll figure a way out of this as we go along”}}}.

I’m afraid the hail Mary pass didn’t fly.


About Mr. Universe

Mr. Universe is a musician/songwriter and an ex-patriot of the south. He currently lives and teaches at a University in the Pacific Northwest. He is a long distance hiker who has hiked the Appalachian Trail and the Pacific Crest Trail. He is also an author and woodworker. An outspoken political voice, he takes a decidedly liberal stance in politics.
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One Response to It’s the Budget My Ass

  1. Todd Dugdale says:

    Excellent post.

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